It has been a long time, and I don’t even know where to begin.
I guess the long story short version of it all – besides the creative suck is: That when you live in a world where you are keeping everything inside – pushing everyone outside – you just don’t have a lot to say, or even the heart to say it.
Friendships strained and lost.
Creativity corroded away.
Self destruction at an all time high.
Play music – HELL NO.
Write – NO WAY.
Take Pictures – GET WRECKED.
Then there is the whole well what I write is public record thing. What if I say – or imply – the wrong thing using the wrong tone and my Niece and Nephews see it 10 – 20 years down the road.
What will they think of me?
What will my friends think of me.
My brain was not okay with all this and so writing ceased.
Robotics ensued. Wake, Work, Play Games, Repeat.
What hell for a creative soul.
Even through this self constructed retreat I have been lucky: An amazing family that loves and and who I love deeply. A core group of friends who I love and who love me. I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, so honestly who the fuck am I to complain.
That said… I am trying to work on me. To crawl out of this whole I have dug from myself.
Maybe, just maybe, a little writing might help along the way.
So – dear person who is reading my random thoughts – welcome (or welcome back)! The site is being redesigned, and refreshed to align with where I am now. With a little luck and hard work maybe I will start writing again with a sense of regularity. I do beg your indulgence while I figured this out – while I climb up from my muck – but hey… Maybe this will be good – For both of us.
Time will tell.