The Creative Suck…

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I am a creative person.

I have been my whole life.

I have been into music, , and writing as long as I can remember. In fact one of my fondest childhood memories is stealing my mom’s camera and blowing through rolls of film.

But I have also been a Geek. I love technology, I love games, I love comics. All geeky things.

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The problem is, these work in direct opposition.

I have made my career in IT.

This is a mega brain drain. You come home after a hard days work, where you give all you got, you mind is a complete creative suck.

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It is a complete creative suck.

I couldn’t do anything creative if I tried.

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I will look at a blank page, or through my camera’s lens, and it’s like my brain is oozing out my ears. The best I can do is come home after work (which is midnight which makes this exponentially worse) and rot my brain. I watch TV, or movies, or read (as long as I’m not trying to absorb), or a mindless game (not a mindful one for sure), for a couple hours to just try and shut down from the day. By the time I could even muster some form of creativity, my brain is cooked, and I am tired.

In the morning, I am way to tired to tackle anything creative.

Rinse. Repeat.

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This has created for me, my creative suck.

So how do I over come this?

I have been trying to get out every weekend and shoot pictures. This has been helping a lot, but I still just cant get past the suck during the week and I need to find a solution.

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It is like living in two worlds with a huge juxtaposition.

I also have started backup a diet and fitness regiment because, its the good thing to do, so I am doing this, but it also is part of the creative suck problem.

I just keep wracking my brain on how to make time for my passions of creativity, while I enjoy my work with the passions of technology.

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Then there is the awkwardness of my schedule. The hours I work, mean I cannot see my friends and family except for my days off (Friday/Saturday), so that is time away too! Though it doesn’t add to the suck per-say, it takes away time from the suck relief. I wouldn’t trade time with them for anything though, its just… Time. I need some.

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I try to include my friends in my passions, but not all of them are into all of it, so it makes it interesting.

So what do I do?

I need for myself to resolve the creative suck. It is impacting my tech passions / work in that I just feel drained. My performance isn’t effected, but I am just exhausted ALL. THE. TIME. This means I am sleeping more, which is eating MORE time. In fact, I am pretty sure I am running in a sleep debt, and its adding to the suck.

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So how do I fix the creative suck? How do I get out of my vortex of exhaustion and brain drain? I am not going to be off the midnight shifts anytime soon. Nor am I getting normal weekends anytime soon… So how do I work around it? I get up early so I have daylight, but if I instead stayed up after work more than a couple hours would I get my creativity back? Or will that screw me more socially?

I know I’m not the first, only, or last person to go through this… So… How do I fix it?

All the pictures are ones I have taken recently, and the full sets can be seen on My Flickr Page. Check em out and let me know what you think!

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